Ok sorry guys. I haven't had good internet access for the longest time.
My appt today was awful. We got there really early to fill out paperwork and then 15 minutes after my appt time it was brought to my attn that the dr office never sent over my paperwork from last week when we made the appt. Nice huh? So after an hour and a half wait we were finally seen. I met with a genetic counselor. (Who would have thought??... that would have made too much sense the first time around right??) So we really liked this guy, nice as can be and INFORMATIVE! I was given new numbers for my Trisomy 18 risk. {Flashback - I was given a 1:70 risk factor for being Trisomy 18 positive.} I was given today a number of 1:10. My exact words were, "It would have been really nice to know that the numbers could change and that the bloodwork I went in for recently was to check for this exact change". So that was an axe to the heart right there. We were told that the amnio results could be rushed and T13, T18, T21 and XY could be fished (or rushed) so we could have answers in 2-3 days. Great! The rest of the testing would come back in 7-10 days. Also, they could do a simple blood test to check that my ability to attach chromosomes correctly was ok. It was explained to us but hell if I remember what he said. Just another test that should have been done in the last 3 years. Another good thing, We have less than 1% chance of this ever happening again!!
I was given the layout for the day, level II u/s then an amnio today if the AFV (amniotic fluid volume) was sufficent enough for the tap. Ummm, today?? Off to the u/s room where the tech played her picture pages in silence as we worried yet marveled over our perfect-appearing babe. The dr was brought in, no questions were asked and the conclusion, if I wanted to go ahead with the tap they found a pocket that could be used. Naturally my calmness about the tap this whole time turned to horrible anguish. I began to flip out. The overwhleming day, past few weeks, crappy drs appts and now "hi, we're gonna stick a giant needle thru your belly and possibly bring harm to your baby." I was not happy. I proceeded to cry and shake and Nick talked to me the entire time while I dug my nails deep into his forearm.
The procedure was horrible. I cannot describe the uncomfortable feeling and then the sharp pain when they actually pierce the sac. It felt like someone holding a water balloon as tight as they could inside of your belly and then piercing it with a dull knife. I wanted someone to literally just punch me and knock me out so i didn't have to feel anymore.
We were given instructions for the next couple days and things to look out for. Bleeding, leaking of fluid, cramping, etc. After he left the room Nick asked the nurse if being on the Lovenox would put me at increased risk for bleeding and she said she'd check with the dr. He came back only to bark at me why I had not told him I was on the Lovenox and my answer, amidst freaking out that something went horribly wrong was, "Isn't it on my paperwork?!". Nope. The 15 pages faxed over by my drs office and not one of them had me listed for Lovenox. F'ing wonderful! So of course I take all the blame being 'Mom' and 'how could I have forgotten to mark that on my sheet'. I was asked to sit in the room and wait; they'd be back in 15 to scan me for blood spots. Of course I cried the entire time and hated myself. Scan was fine and I was sent home. Halfway there I picked up the phone to call my mother and had a voicemail from the dr saying I needed to come back in, they forgot to do my blood draw. Wow, I may not be all there but you guys are supposed to be on top of this. So back in I go and was given a LIST of things to test for. Umm we were told only one test was to be done. Out she went and back in she came. Ok so the slew of tests are to be taken from the amnio and not the blood draw. Geesh! Glad we finally got that in order.
So, it looks like we are going to have to prepare to say goodbye to our little one. We will discuss options with the dr and if I am allowed to birth my baby that is the route I will choose to go. I cannot have them take her from me. I want to see her and hold her. She is mine. I need some kind of closure. I've never gotten any. I will post again when the results are in. Thanks for all the support. You girls have been so wonderful and positive. I hope you are willing to take the next journey with us when we continue our mission for baby #1. Love and best wishes to all my mommy friends.
My appt today was awful. We got there really early to fill out paperwork and then 15 minutes after my appt time it was brought to my attn that the dr office never sent over my paperwork from last week when we made the appt. Nice huh? So after an hour and a half wait we were finally seen. I met with a genetic counselor. (Who would have thought??... that would have made too much sense the first time around right??) So we really liked this guy, nice as can be and INFORMATIVE! I was given new numbers for my Trisomy 18 risk. {Flashback - I was given a 1:70 risk factor for being Trisomy 18 positive.} I was given today a number of 1:10. My exact words were, "It would have been really nice to know that the numbers could change and that the bloodwork I went in for recently was to check for this exact change". So that was an axe to the heart right there. We were told that the amnio results could be rushed and T13, T18, T21 and XY could be fished (or rushed) so we could have answers in 2-3 days. Great! The rest of the testing would come back in 7-10 days. Also, they could do a simple blood test to check that my ability to attach chromosomes correctly was ok. It was explained to us but hell if I remember what he said. Just another test that should have been done in the last 3 years. Another good thing, We have less than 1% chance of this ever happening again!!
I was given the layout for the day, level II u/s then an amnio today if the AFV (amniotic fluid volume) was sufficent enough for the tap. Ummm, today?? Off to the u/s room where the tech played her picture pages in silence as we worried yet marveled over our perfect-appearing babe. The dr was brought in, no questions were asked and the conclusion, if I wanted to go ahead with the tap they found a pocket that could be used. Naturally my calmness about the tap this whole time turned to horrible anguish. I began to flip out. The overwhleming day, past few weeks, crappy drs appts and now "hi, we're gonna stick a giant needle thru your belly and possibly bring harm to your baby." I was not happy. I proceeded to cry and shake and Nick talked to me the entire time while I dug my nails deep into his forearm.
The procedure was horrible. I cannot describe the uncomfortable feeling and then the sharp pain when they actually pierce the sac. It felt like someone holding a water balloon as tight as they could inside of your belly and then piercing it with a dull knife. I wanted someone to literally just punch me and knock me out so i didn't have to feel anymore.
We were given instructions for the next couple days and things to look out for. Bleeding, leaking of fluid, cramping, etc. After he left the room Nick asked the nurse if being on the Lovenox would put me at increased risk for bleeding and she said she'd check with the dr. He came back only to bark at me why I had not told him I was on the Lovenox and my answer, amidst freaking out that something went horribly wrong was, "Isn't it on my paperwork?!". Nope. The 15 pages faxed over by my drs office and not one of them had me listed for Lovenox. F'ing wonderful! So of course I take all the blame being 'Mom' and 'how could I have forgotten to mark that on my sheet'. I was asked to sit in the room and wait; they'd be back in 15 to scan me for blood spots. Of course I cried the entire time and hated myself. Scan was fine and I was sent home. Halfway there I picked up the phone to call my mother and had a voicemail from the dr saying I needed to come back in, they forgot to do my blood draw. Wow, I may not be all there but you guys are supposed to be on top of this. So back in I go and was given a LIST of things to test for. Umm we were told only one test was to be done. Out she went and back in she came. Ok so the slew of tests are to be taken from the amnio and not the blood draw. Geesh! Glad we finally got that in order.
So, it looks like we are going to have to prepare to say goodbye to our little one. We will discuss options with the dr and if I am allowed to birth my baby that is the route I will choose to go. I cannot have them take her from me. I want to see her and hold her. She is mine. I need some kind of closure. I've never gotten any. I will post again when the results are in. Thanks for all the support. You girls have been so wonderful and positive. I hope you are willing to take the next journey with us when we continue our mission for baby #1. Love and best wishes to all my mommy friends.
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