Thursday, December 30, 2010

35 week appt update

Had my Group B strep test done today (yuck! lol). And my first cervical check. Nothing of course, why would I be so lucky. Well they are saying that our little chubb monster is around 6 lbs 9 oz. Yea... at 35 weeks I just about had a heart attack. Do the math and she will be 9 lbs by my due date! Is this for real?! My concern has now been turned up a notch but the dr said they don't give it a second thought unless she's at the 95th percentile and lil miss is only, ONLY *rolling eyes, at the 84th.
I'm praying that they are off by at least a lb and that baby girl is just super chubby and not super HUGE! I've already given up all hope for a natural birth because of the SPD but am I going to be able to get this kid out if she is indeed going to be that big??? It's making me cringe I have to admit lol. Let's just hope she comes out soon huh... Glad I didn't buy any newborn sized clothes because it's not looking like she'll be at all on the small side of things.
Then again they were a lb off with my nephew so maybe we will have the same luck! He was thought to be 7.2 at his 37 week appt and came out a tiny 7 lbs even after 39 weeks. Here's to hoping!!!!!!!!


35 weeks


Sunday, December 12, 2010

PAIN!! Plz be over soon

Here I go complaining for the millionth and 1 time... Sorry girls.
Ever since baby dropped in my late 31st week I have been in quadruple the amount of pain I was in previous. Let's just say I was already suffering before so if there's any real way to explain my situation now it's #&)&)_%!&)*_!&)&@_#!!!!!!!!!! Walking is barely an option anymore. Sitting... sigh... I move around more than a stripper on stage. Laying, HA! That's about all I have to say about that. It's the worst, most painful thing you can possibly do with SPD. Trying to turn over feels like someone put hooks in your pubic parts and is pulling you by them. You can't put a pillow between your legs (to help with my slipped disc problem) because any more separation of the pubic bones than absolutely necessary makes the pain worse.
How else can I try to describe it??? It feels like your pelvic bone is broken in a few pieces and you aer being forced to live without having them heal. The ligaments are mush and nothing, literally nothing, is holding your weight or the baby's extra weight. Gravity is your enemy. Even getting in the pool doesn't help like you'd think because the water makes your tummy bouyant and pulls the belly up away from the pubic part which is painful. And getting out of the water feels like your bottom half is made of solid lead and the world is trying to push your pelvis 10 feet into the ground.
Needless to say I'm not getting a lot of sleep and I cry several times a day because it's just so frustrating to be in this kind of pain all day and not being able to relieve it. Even tho warm water helps; tanding in the shower and sitting in the tub is painful. The heating pad offers little; mostly just sweat. Sitting on my stay ball has even become uncomfortable because baby beats up the pubic parts anytime I'm not completely stretched out. It's become difficult to sit with. She is very low and feels lodged in the bones which she hits a lot. Her kicks have become extremely powerfull also and I cringe all day long from those too.
I am not cut out for this. I hate it that I can't enjoy being pregnant like I should. I have to face facts; God did not have a very good mold for me when he gave me a uterus and said this one will be a girl. It shouldn't surprise me too much I guess. My mother had horrible pregnancies and my kid sister followed in her footsteps both times now. It has been somewhat comforting to share this with my sister tho. She has been horribly sick and has had the SPD for a while now too. All I can say is I know it will be over soon but it doesn't feel like soon enough right now. Baby #2 is not going to be planned for quite some time :(

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Just a hello and a little dilema

In the last couple weeks baby seems to have lowered herself into my nether regions. She's become extremely powerful and her 'pushing' on the tummy is becoming pretty uncomfortable. I can now breathe easier which is nice, but the cervical pressure is awful. The low back pain has become constant and the pelvic pain has definitely been turned up a notch or two. Baby girl has also been hitting my pelvic bone a lot which isn't a fun feeling.

Wow I wish I had something better to report. I guess this is more of a vent for the new things that have been happening. I'm really hoping that her recent movement is a sign for a quick future. I would give a lot for her to make her debut in about 4 weeks but I know she will come when she's ready. Needless to say, mommy is ready.

I am trying to get Nick on the bandwagon to understanding my need for labor support. I can tell he's not completely ok with having someone he doesn't know there when our baby is born. I am going to rent The Business of Being Born for him to watch so maybe he can see and hear it from a different perspective. The last thing I want is for him to be uncomfortable for the biggest moment of his life. But I really need someone there that 'gets it'. I need the attention that he's not educated enough to give me. I need someone who has been thru it all before. A girl. A voice of reason so I can focus on me and my body instead of everything around me.

I was very confident about getting thru labor naturally before I had such a rough past 8 months. Now, I need that confidence to come from someone else when I lose it. I know at this point I will be very worn out and quick. I haven't been able to exercise and prepare my body for what it will be facing. My SPD has limited me to less than routine activities and being sick has made me not want to think about anything else but making that go away. I need this and I wish I could get him to understand that. I know that from talking to him about my needs is not getting thru to him. When I tell him what a doula does he gives me the blank stare. When I tell him they help me birth the baby he acts like I just said I was going to hop on a plane to Hawaii. He's a man and doesn't get it. I just wish he would try to get this.

O the list of worries that seem to be piling up on me... I know I can't please everyone but I need to do what's good for me and baby too.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Perfect Wedding Day :)

My wedding day turned out to be absolutely perfect! I couldn't have asked for a better day. After a horrible start to the day, the downward spiral finally turned around and the dark cloud disappeared. I forgot everything. My hair comb for my veil, the necklaces I was supposed to give my bridal party to wear, my personalized cake topper even! I made my bouquets in the hotel last minute after my hair and make-up were done. My mom, sister and I filled the table favors with mints. It was all insane. And to top things off I was almost 2 hours late getting there. Took a 'wrong turn' and had to back track. I was almost in tears on the way there. But then I got a text that the soon-to-be hubs was just picking up the cake! Haha.
So I finally get there and put my dress on in the parking lot! Yep, I did it lol. By the time everyone was settled and we knew Nick was in place everything just came together. I mean what was really left to screw up after that? ;) Anyway, I didn't think I'd feel the nervous jitters but I got them right after the flowers girls started walking. It was a great feeling. I think if you don't have that then there's no excitement to the moment or the whole meaning of the amount of devotion you are about to give. I don't remember that feeling so much with my first husband. I don't know what to think of that... Also, only about half the number of people I thought would be there were. So I drove myself insane worrying about accomodating everyone when I didn't need to. Grrr.
I will say that the vows my aunt (she married us) created could not have been said better. She made me cry and even Nick!!!! I was in awe over this. They were very personal and very deep. Not the traditional lines or anything anyone has ever heard before. They were really awesome. Our kiss was pretty great too! It felt a lot more emotional than anything we shared in a long time. After that we did tons of photos and very much enjoyed doing them which is unusal for Nick. I had one of my best friends fly all the way from North Carolina to be my photographer! Dawn and her husband are one of the top notch professionals in their area and I couldn't have asked for a better gift. It was amazing to meet her finally. We met years ago on What To Expect and share so much in common. It was an absolute joy to meet her little miracle Greyson. He was just too cute and such a wonderful baby. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to have them there and so thankful that she would have offered such a thing to us. I can't say enough great things about them. I miss them. A lot! I never thought I could form a bond so strong just through chatting on the internet and phone. When they got here it was like I had known them forever. I can't wait to spend time with them again. I was a little heart broken when they had to leave.
On top of all her wonderful givings, she did a maternity shoot for me while she was here. The couple pics she gave me to tide me over until she has time to go through all the others are so breath taking. I was, and still am, absolutely speechless at how beautiful she made me and made me feel. I'll post a few pics of the wedding and then make another post for the maternity shoot. I can't wait to see all the gorgeous photos from 2 very special days. I can't thank her enough for what she has done and being the kindest, sweetest person I've ever known.
On an end note... things have been really great for a while now after our big day. My new husband seems a little more caring and loving. He has been a little less cranky even on his 20 hour work days. It's nice to have a piece of him back that I thought I lost. I know now that things will be even better once our daughter is here. That is a moment I simply cannot wait for; when I get to see him hold his baby girl for the first time. I know he's going to cry like a little girl and it's a memory that will stick in my mind forever =]